but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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