I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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