Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
