So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
