no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize