your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
