i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
