I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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