I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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