You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i now understand why vodka
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
