There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
