I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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