he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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