the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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