Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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