I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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