Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
