This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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