haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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