TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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