No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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