I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
operation harelip BJ is a go
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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