i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
