So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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