Pants 0. Shit 1.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
