I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
