The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
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i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
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My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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