all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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