the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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