Having a random hookup so left but love u
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize