We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dick very happy bro
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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