ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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