But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize