Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
