You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Umm I'm too high to move.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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