Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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