I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
