Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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