i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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