she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
