Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
there is puke in my bra ... again
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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