i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
