it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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