Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
