What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
