your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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