Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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