worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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