Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
wanna go halves on a baby?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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