NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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