I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
