I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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