a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
