I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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