I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
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he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And then my night got REAL pukey
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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